While divorce no longer has the same stigma it once carried, it still can be devastating for everyone involved. Whether the divorce was a long time coming or a complete surprise, it’s still a painful transition. Even the so-called “amicable divorce” can leave emotional scars that take time to heal.
We’ve previously discussed the positive effects of a divorce in Fort Worth. During the process or after it’s final, it’s important to take care of yourself and your children so that you can heal from the emotional hurt involved. Know that you don’t have to go through a divorce alone.
Grief And Other Emotions
It’s natural to feel grief, anger, guilt, sadness, fear, vulnerability, and other debilitative emotions when a relationship changes direction for the worse. An episode of depression may also follow. It’s important to recognize this and work towards dealing with it.
There is no curative for the outpouring of emotion that comes with such a huge loss, nor is there a time frame. Much like experiencing the death of a loved one, ending a relationship brings all these emotions and more. Each person experiences it differently and may need more time to get through their grief.
It’s important to deal with the impending grief as it happens, not procrastinate. Otherwise, pent-up emotions build up until can come out unexpectedly, and worse, inconveniently. Allowing yourself to grieve now lets you move on when the time comes.
Your children may also be feeling grief and sadness along with you. Helping them deal with their grief can also help you move through yours. Over time, these emotions lessen as you get closer to the conclusion of the divorce.
Finding Emotional Support
A divorce attorney will help with the divorce, child support, and possibly spousal support (aka “alimony”). But even the most compassionate divorce attorney isn’t the same as a therapist, who is trained to listen and offer support when you need it.
You will have to discuss some parts of your personal life with your attorney for the purposes of your divorce. But there are some aspects that are better discussed with a therapist. He or she can offer a “safe space” to discuss the non-legal and emotional parts of your divorce so that you’re able to function as normally as you can.
A therapist can also offer expert guidance on dealing with grief, stress, negative self-talk, and being a strong parent for your children while you build your new life following your divorce.
Remember that you aren’t the only person going through such an experience, and you don’t have to go through a divorce’s emotional trauma alone. Support groups are also an excellent way to discuss your situation with others who are in a similar situation. You can find one online, in Facebook groups, or in your community through MeetUp, a social networking site for finding like-minded people with similar interests.
Habits Old And New
Transitioning to a new lifestyle after a breakup and divorce involve considerable changes to everyday life, especially with children.
During the transition, you’ll have a laundry list of things that you must accomplish while you go to work and get through everyday life. This includes tasks such as:
• Finding a new home or apartment and setting up a house
• Changing your address (and name, if necessary) on bank accounts and in other places
• Notifying your children’s schools of the transition in progress
• Change and/or cancel insurance policies
Make a list of these things you need to accomplish and check them off as you complete them.
Maintaining daily routines as much as possible offers children stability in a changing environment. Consistent family dinner times, homework, and other regular routines can help you and your children stay grounded during the transition. Of course, some things will inevitably change, but keeping some routine will help.
It’s important not to involve the children in the divorce by talking badly about the other party and attempting parental alienation. Keep discussions with the other party short and to the point and avoid conflicts as much as possible.
Eventually, things will get better as you settle into your new home, routines, and life. As you move towards the end of the divorce and transition into a new life, you can look forward to the day when the divorce is over, and your new life is ahead of you.
Fort Worth’s Compassionate Divorce Attorney
Wendy L. Hart is an experienced family law attorney helping people throughout Tarrant County who need help in a divorce. As a divorcee herself, Wendy understands the process as well as the difficulties involved. We represent both men and women. We’ll make sure you’re treated fairly and protect your interests and your children’s.
Visit our Mansfield office at 2363 HWY 287 N, Suite 108, use our online contact form, or call us at (817) 842-2336. We’re ready to help.