For many, divorce is unhappy. Many cases are worked out amicably. But some divorces become battlefields when one or both parties become inflexible on nearly Small disagreements escalate into major battles when one party refuses to accept the marriage’s end. This is a high-conflict divorce, where one spouse makes life difficult for the other.
A high-conflict divorce can drag on for months or years as every decision becomes problematic, draining both parties financially and emotionally. If one party has more money, they think nothing of making things difficult for the other spouse just because they can. This toxic environment can also harm any children involved, who may suffer for years after the divorce.
If your situation has suddenly turned into a win-lose, it’s important to find a Tarrant County family law attorney right away who can give you legal guidance on divorce so you and your children can survive and get through it all.
What To Fight For
Because every divorce is different, what one party should fight for may not be feasible for another party. Fighting for the marital home, assets, and other jointly held things will depend on joint ownership or separate property, as well as the terms of a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement both parties signed.
Complicating matters is if there is a large discrepancy in income between the parties. In most cases, the party with more money once to make things difficult, and continues to create additional conflict to delay the divorce and bankrupt the party with less money.
Retirement assets are one thing you should try to fight for, especially if your spouse has considerably more money.
One spouse may attempt to hide assets from the other to either avoid paying the other spouse child support, or spousal support or deprive them of their rights to the Community property. For this, your family law attorney will work to get the assets you are entitled to have under Texas’ family law.
Everything should be in the best interest of your children. Custody arrangements and support are always going to be a difficult point, especially if the other party is attempting to wrangle sole conservatorship. Couples with children are particularly susceptible to emotional trauma in a high-conflict divorce. They will suffer more than children whose parents go with a more amicable split. Fight to keep them out of the line of fire.
What Not To Fight For
If your spouse will work with you in mediation, you can decide with the help of a mediator and your attorneys what’s worth keeping and what’s worth giving up. But in a high-conflict divorce, you will have to make decisions to reduce that conflict and eventually move on.
One spouse may be very adamant about holding on to anything they can, just to keep you from having it. Consider what it would be worth to continue fighting for something, or if it was just easier to give it up and walk away from it.
Personal property, especially something with more sentimental value than anything, may not be worth fighting over and could cost more in legal fees than it’s worth.
If you are asking for the marital home, do you have enough income to keep it? Are you able to take care of the home on your own? If your name is on the title and mortgage, and you contributed to mortgage payments throughout your marriage, you’ll be entitled to at least some of the payments.
It may be more feasible for you to accept the cash-out of the value of the home under Texas community property laws. Instead of keeping the marital home, your spouse buys out your percentage, giving you cash for a new home. The marital home may have to be sold for you to receive this payout.
Handling Communications
In many high-conflict divorce cases, communications are a minefield. It’s easy to let an emotional overload take over communications. Exercise extreme restraint to avoid making the conflict worse.
Avoid emotional responses. Limit your interactions with your spouse, and use email, texts, or other permanent communications as much as possible. Resist the temptation to answer immediately or fire back a reply without thinking about it first. This helps you avoid giving them the reaction they want and baiting you into another conflict. Wait 24 hours before responding, and write down possible answers to consider before your response.
Give as neutral a response as you can. Keep it brief, give them the info they requested, but stay neutral.
Resist the urge to tell family and friends everything going on in the divorce. Instead, work with a therapist or counselor who can help you work through everything so you can better handle things and prevent the harsh feelings from moving into other parts of your life.
Don’t Let A High-Conflict Divorce Hurt You And Your Family—Let Wendy L. Hart offer Legal Guidance on Divorce.
Prolonged litigation can be expensive, and difficult, and take a toll on everyone involved, including the children. If your spouse is making things difficult, get legal guidance on divorce before it becomes a high-conflict situation.
Wendy L. Hart has been helping both men and women and their families in Tarrant County through divorce since 2001. With an experienced and compassionate divorce attorney on your side, Ms. Hart will work for the best possible outcome in your case.
The first step is to contact the Law Office of Wendy L. Hart at (817) 842-2336.