If you’re considering divorce, or have begun the process, you may be mired in fear, sadness, and even depression. This is especially true if you have family members who are unsympathetic, or even hostile to the decision—whether or not it was yours.
You have a lot on your mind. Where am I going to live? What about the house? And what about the children? Over time, these issues will be resolved, and you can go on with your life. Until then you may find yourself with plenty of questions but no answers.
Although divorce will upend your life (and that of your children) it’s important to keep a clear head and try to stick to “normal” as much as you can. Stay in touch with friends, be constructive, and keep a positive outlook, even if it seems difficult now.
Despite the negative feelings that come after deciding to divorce, there is a lot to look forward to as you separate your life from your spouse’s. Things that you may have come to feel were holding you back will begin to clear.
Whether you were just not suited from the start or you were in a violent and abusive relationship, anything that inhibited you from enjoying life will likely disappear. You’ll have the freedom to make a new start, and you won’t have to discuss it with your spouse first.
If you were always too busy working or taking care of a house and/or children to be able to take care of yourself or pursue a goal such as higher education, these things will change. Once you’re no longer one-half of a couple, you’ll have the freedom to do all the things you couldn’t do while you were married.
You will be able to take care of things yourself and not have to work with someone else to get them done. At some point, you’ll begin to see a new life ahead of you that you might not have considered while you were married.
Even with children, you will have more time to yourself when the divorce is final. Shared parenting means that you’ll be on your own more often. Start making those plans for your life for the day you’re formally un-married.
Many people begin to feel relief when the end is near, knowing that the problems they’re experiencing now will, at some point, be over. They can move forward with their lives, and leave the despair behind.
The Best Interest Of Your Children
There are numerous studies that demonstrate how a child benefits from having two parents. Unfortunately, not all children have two parents with a harmonious relationship. An unstable, manipulative, abusive, or violent relationship is clearly not in their best interest.
Children notice everything. If your children frequently witness discord between you and your spouse, it will also affect them, even if they’re not the cause. Taking your children out of a stressful, unhappy, or even toxic relationship is better than forcing them to live it day after day.
Once removed, the children will likely breathe a sigh of relief because their parents are happy again. Having regular “breathers” from parenting can help you become a better parent. Shared custody means that the children will have more one-on-one time with each parent, which might not have been possible before.
Make their needs your first priority throughout the process. Once the children are away from an environment filled with conflict, they will become healthier and happier. You as a parent will also become better at parenting when you are no longer living with conflict 24/7.
Your children may also believe that they are the reason for their parent’s relationship problems and divorce. By putting on a united front—that is, keeping the discord away from them—the children can eventually learn to deal with conflicts the right way.
There will be decisions on child support and conservatorship (custody) before it’s all over. Done correctly, the children will have relationships with both of their parents going forward. Done incorrectly, your divorce will have a negative impact on the children. Texas courts make their decisions based on the best interest of the child. Both parents should make all child-related decisions in the same way.
Fort Worth’s Compassionate Divorce Attorney
Wendy L. Hart is an experienced family law attorney helping people throughout Tarrant County who need help in a divorce. As a divorcee herself, Wendy understands the process as well as the difficulties involved. We represent both men and women. We’ll make sure you’re treated fairly and will protect your interests and your children.