Why do people get divorced? Every couple has their own reasons, from people in your neighborhood to high-profile celebrities that share every detail of their lives. Reasons listed in the divorce petition can vary from standard “incompatibility” to the more distressing things like infidelity and domestic abuse.
Every couple has differences, even the best-matched. While counseling may be able to help couples overcome their differences, in the end, many Texas marrieds simply opt to end the marriage.
The US Divorce Rate
Most people believe and will tell you that about half the marriages in the US end in divorce, but that’s no longer true. Oddly, though, the divorce rate is decreasing in the US, but not for the reason you might think.
The CDC lists the current divorce rate as 3.2 per 1,000 people, a decrease of 18% between 2008 and 2016 (the latest available statistics.) In Texas, that rate is actually 7.1 per 1,000 people.
But what the numbers don’t explicitly state is that the US divorce rate is going down for a reason: more people are choosing not to get married in the first place. Less marriage means less divorce. Cohabitation has a more favorable view than it used to, and many couples over 60 choose it over marriage or remarriage for a number of reasons.
One of the biggest reasons for the drop in divorce rate is millennials—they’re marrying later than before, and making sure that they are more established when they do, reducing the risk that they’ll eventually get divorced.
However, remarriage is also increasing, with four out of ten new marriages involving divorced individuals.
Reasons Marriages End
At a high level, there are just two:
- The couple was incompatible from the start but either didn’t realize it or just married anyway
- Over time, the couple grew apart and became incompatible
On a more granular level, there are a number of different reasons why couples ultimately can’t live together anymore and pull the trigger on dissolving their marriage.
- Marrying for the wrong reasons, i.e., too young, it was expected, etc.
- Financial issues—two different spending or saving habits, and causing financial problems
- Different interests and priorities—while it’s important for both to have individual identities and interests, without shared interests, couples tend to grow farther apart.
- Lack of intimacy and physical contact—while sexuality is important, it’s also important for couples to have regular physical contact, i.e., hand-holding. Without it, one party may begin to feel neglected or insecure, and seek it elsewhere, leading to infidelity, another reason for divorces.
- Unresolved conflicts—disagreeing is normal in any relationship, but too much conflict and resentments that linger will ultimately erode the relationship. Counseling can help in this instance if couples seek it out in time.
- Abuse—unfortunately, this is the reality in some marriages and is always a solid reason to end a marriage.
- Substance abuse—whether alcohol, drugs, or other substances, can also contribute to divorce.
- Lack of commitment—even if you’ve gone through premarital counseling, worked out your prenuptial agreements and financial affairs, if one party isn’t committed, the marriage will eventually end. Marriage requires commitment from both partners.
Of course, every couple’s situation is different, and each has their own reasons for ending their relationship and their marriage.
Tarrant County’s Compassionate Divorce Attorney
Since 2001, Wendy L. Hart has been helping people in the Fort Worth area with various family law issues, including divorce. She represents both men and women, including child support, child custody/visitation, estate, and other family law matters. As a divorcee herself, she understands what it’s like to go through one, and will work to help you through it.